#44: Be a rewarding presence

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”–Mother Teresa
(CC licensed image shared by Flickr user orsocurioso)

Think about someone (or more than one person) in your life that you enjoy being around and whose company you look forward to. This person makes you feel good and regularly puts a smile on your face. This person allows you to be you while also inspiring you to be a better person. This person is particularly well-liked by many and is a rewarding presence in the lives of others.

In my life, there are several people who especially stand-out in exuding the above qualities and I use them as models for being a better person myself. I’ve reflected on and observed the following 12 qualities in such well-liked people:

1. Happy: Well-liked people smile and/or laugh often and make others smile and/or laugh often. They are happy!
2. Relatable: They seek to truly understand, empathize and relate to others and are genuinely interested in others’ lives.
3. Listen attentively and selflessly: Well-liked people listen attentively by looking directly at those who are speaking, with appropriate body language and facial expression (or providing verbal cues if talking on the phone), without interrupting, and by following up with relevant questions, clarification or comments. They listen selflessly by not providing unsolicited advice or imparting their own agenda onto others.
4. Humble: Such people are down-to-earth and while they may be proud of their successes, they do not assume they are superior to others.
5. Helpful: They take initiative to help others (friends and strangers) with small or big tasks.
6. Giving: People who are well-liked give a lot of themselves to others through time, energy and/or resources. They make an effort to be there for others in various ways.
7. Authentic: They are genuine, sincere, honest, they possess integrity and they are truly themselves.
8. Accepting: Well-liked people are accepting of personal differences, are open-minded and not judgmental of others.
9. Positive and optimistic: Such people give off positive energy through their words, actions and attitude. They maintain a confident and an encouraging outlook on life.
10. Appreciative: People who are well-liked appreciate the special qualities in others, acknowledge other people’s efforts, and offer thanks. They demonstrate an attitude of gratitude.
11. Supportive: Well-liked people are supportive of others’ decisions and endeavours. They offer encouraging comments and assist with others’ pursuits, if possible.
12. Kind: Well-liked people are friendly, inclusive of others, they use kind words and demonstrate acts of kindness on a regular basis.

Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D also explores this topic and discusses many of the above traits in her article 9 Ways to Win Fans and Influence People.

We cannot necessarily control whether or not we are liked, but if we strive to continually embody authentic goodness in all that we do, then we can rest assured that we have made a positive contribution to our world. 🙂

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